I went up to camp today to do a bit of staff training. . . it looks like theres a lot of kids up there serving the lord this summer. Is it where I fit? I dont know. At first I was really excited to see many fimiliar faces, but then it was like I was seperated from the group. Seth event felt distant from me. It was weird. There were a couple ppl I wasnt particularly excited to see but I would never let that effect my summer. I dont know if thats what I want to do this summer. I feel really seperated form ppl that I love and care about in the body of Christ. I loved seeing Mariah. That was really cool, and Jordan Parker. . I love that kid. I was happy to see Talyor and Karen as well. And who could foret my two favorites Seth and CHRISTIANNA!!! I fell a bit awkard around her too though. Maybe like the staff and I are just not conecting or it could be that Im just extreamly nervous becasue I want it to be a good summer and I just doubt myself. Im going to try this though. I really am.
I miss my friends. theyre so far away and I cant talk to them or see them. pI really miss them. I hope they miss me.
God what is going on?

kalie

UG

Last night was fun. A lot of sun. that movie was hilarious. i thought it was goint to be lame but to my surprise. . . it wasnt. It was good to hang out with seth. camp hero.
in other news Dara and Paige are gone to 6th grade camp. sad
im going miss them.
about 29 days left of school. YES im counting and for a damn good reason. casue i get to go to see my camp family again. yay.
Im in love with shakiras new song. its basically amazing. plus its a great workout song.....

ok so time for dinner. were haveing salad. but my tummy hurts so i wont be having much.

kalie

.Im going to do this whole civil air patrol thing and im really excited! other than that i wish this year would just be over soon.
.Teachers have to be some of the worlds best bulshitters, i just thoiught that so i decided to say it.
.i need to go buy some new cloths. im starting to knot like the ones i have.
.camp seems so far away. I miss it so much.
.i cant belive im almost a sr. thats a scary thought.
.ive been thinking lasstly of what i want to be.
i think after the airforce ill be a teacher. a grade school teacher. maybe fifth grade. i dont know why. that or ill stay ing the air force and become an officer and FLY EVERYWERE. flying is the most amazing thing in the world. its truly peacefull and beautifull. I guess i should get ready for school. yeah probably.

A - Available: I am. but not for long
A - Age: 17 and loving it
A - Annoyance: english grade, ppl that dont call their daughter on her birthday especially on her 18th birthday.

B - Best Friend? GOT TO BE Paige dara and Becca theres no other people who i have gone through so so so much with and love OH SO EFFING much
B - Bar: Mitzva
B - Birthday?: 1/13/89! thats right!

C - Crush: meh i have a few, actually i have a but load. .
C - Car: i crashed mine so im borrowing my dads Astro
C - Cat: One cat, named Ovi, coolest cat ever although she MIGHT be mentally chalenged

D - Dead Pets Name: him theres CJ and bear and then molly and like 15 fish yes i named them all but i dont want to take the time to
D - Dads name: William or Bill
D - Dog: I don't have a dog, but I would sure love a miniature pug or a daschund.

E - Easiest person to talk to: Paige shes always there for me when ever i need to talk and she always seems to know just exactly what to say
E - Eggs: are yummie!
E - Email: i dont use my email EVER

F - Favorite color: clear is, by far, the best color in the world.
F - Food: apples.
F - Foreign Slang: ay ese!!

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: neither
G - God: is the best dad in the world ( despite what your mug says)
G - Good Time: haveing dara give the sex talk

H - Hair Color: brunette sounds way better than brown
H - Height: 5'2
H - Happy: living life to the fullest

I - Ice cream: is not as good as yogert
I - Instrument: i used to play the violen but quite cause i didnt want to take the time
I - Idol: American...haha. Uhm, idols are bad.

J - Jewelry: is in a box with dust on it
J - Job: I work at camp in the summer usually. Other than that, my job is MCDOANLDS
J - Joke: Too many to choose from, or just no desire to think of one out of the back of my mind.

K - Kids: are the beswst thing to show you how dumb you really are
K - Karate: Hiya!
K - Kung fu: Jackie Chan

L - Longest Car Ride: in the car with my mom and dad to montanna
L - Longest Relationship: i dont count thats retarded
L - Last thought: "who gives a shit?"

M - Milk Flavor: white non fat skim.
M - Mothers Name: kim
M - Movie Last Watched: Crash i cried through the whole thing

N - Number of Siblings: Unfortunately, none.
N - Northern or Southern: Southern
N - Name: ...kalie

O - ONE WISH: that summer would pass by quickly dso dara and paige come home
O - One Phobia?: spiders
O - Otter Pop: Camp, 2004. We should bring Otter Pops back! I don't think we had them in 2005...maybe we did, but I predominantely remember them in 2004. Man, we're bringing those back.

P - Part of your appearance you like best: I have nice eyes and a really cool nose.
P - Parents, are they married or divorced: divorced thank goodness
P - Part of your Personality you like best: I'm pretty nice, and quiet unless you need my opinion, then you know the table turns

Q - Quick or Slow?: If we're talking about like, school ending or death...then quick. If we're talking about saying goodbye to someone or summer ending (specifically camp), then slow
Q - Queen or Queer?: i dont get it. . .
Q - Quiet or Loud?: Quiet but loud

R - Reason to smile: I'm alive and i love my family and friends
R - Reality TV Shows: suck.
R - Right or Left: Right

S - Song Last Heard: American Girl. . . TOm petty
S - Season: Fall
S - Sex: female

T - Time you woke up: Today...9:30 a.m.
T - Time Now: 3:08
T - Time for bed: About 8 -9 ish

U - Unknown Fact about me: im probably not who you think i am
U - Unicorns: arnt real
U - U are?: This is a dumb one.

V - Vegetable you hate: Spinach, asparagus
V - View on Politics: go bush, abotrons desth, go troops, stop whinning you tree huggers
V - Victoria's Secret?: Has the best bras in the world

W - Worst Habits: getting mad at my mom
W - Where are you going to travel next?: California!!!
W - Weight: Is not a question you ask women

X - X-Rays: I've had them done... alot
X - Xylophone: Are so amazing. In elementary
X - Xenon: Chemical element

Y - Year you were born: 1989
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow?: Submarine! Lemonheads!

Z - Zoo Animal: Hippo
Z - Zodiac: ?
Z - Zoolander: is amazing.
stole from seth who stole it from Chris who got it from megan who stole it form autum? yeah wow

Last night was seriously one of the hardest nights on my life so far. I cant imagin What i would have had to go through if i didnt have ppl with me that helped me through it. I dont think ppl know the real Kalie and to be honest i dont think i even know the real klaie. i know im strong, very indepndant, kind, and passinate, but i dont think others know that. I just really dont understand. . . . .

kalie

SO today was the LONGEST DAY IN MY LIFE. A bit over exzagerated . . maybe, but it felt like it. I was so tired when I woke up this morning I was like falling over and then i was a BIT pissed off casue I relized what time it was and what time I was due at school. So the morning wasnt that great but it was good to see all my friends agein. Lunch was entertaining cause Dara, Sweden and I pulled all our change together and bought lunch. It was great and then I got to go to MATH! I hate that class I tune her out most of the time which is going to screw me over for the test but I dont care cause some how I'll go back and read it all like I normally do. Its the art of lazyness mixed with a hint of procrastination. So I got another letter form a college today this one from Fl. It was saying that I should consider applying early and such to increase my chanves for early acceptence. blah blah blah. honestly im pretty sure f i dont go right in to the air force im going to a two year then transfering casue you get the same classes just like 3/4 the cost. especially since i want to be a pilot. i dont know at this point i want to make it through my JR alive. seriously this year has been so hard on me. DIFFICULTS not even the word. Ive battle being sick, HARD classes, crashing my car. . i dont want to go on. BUT i have gained the most valued friendships i will ever have. seriously, i cant imagin my yar with out the girls that i get to call my best friends.

so i just want to tell who ever keeps calling me, please stop its realy starting to kreep me out and i really dont appreciate it. it was funny at first but the jokes over and im done. so please stop. anywho, just got out of church which was fun i really enjoyed it this morning. life is truly amazing. ppl are so interesting somtimes its scary. lol. well im going to go and do my dads webn thig for him so this one is short. but the goiod thing is i get the car for the day:)
kalie

so today was DIFFICULT to say the least. Becca better know how much i love her as a friend. cause im pretty sure if it werent for her id so be out of the house right now and moving into my dads. i dont like my mom, nor do i really love her. she a controll freak to say the least. everything i do and say can not be right to her NOTHING. its a bit irritating. we have so much can food. . . A BUT LOAD. thats right. i guess there is one good thing about my mom she says the oddest things somtimes. like she called me a BOOB once. . a boob. right infont of the guy i was with . .. talk about embarresing. tomorrows sunday and thus the last day of spring break. sadly true. im so going to lose weight. im so determined at this point its not even funny. its ssad the way i obsees over my wiehgt. its all i really think about. but thats why i excersise i guess to lose it the healthy way this time not starving myself. wow. somtimes i wonder why i was placed in the spot im in. like my life and the people in it. Why did God set these specific ppl in my life? what were they ment to do? how were they to inluence me? oh well why bother for the most part i love my life and almost everyone in it. i couldnt ask for a better one. . well maybe thats too far but i def. love my life. and you knwo now im going to go make a cake for my mom. EWW WHITE FLOWER AND LARD!
kalie

WOW. last night at the Ram. . . GOOOOOD TIME!!! i have the most amazing friends in the world. seriously they are amazing. Paige makes me laugh so hard. And dara is funny as well but no one can make me laugh harder than the beast. we went to the Ram last night for some girl time and Paige got a ballon guy to make her a crown. a princess crown except the crown was like 3 feet tall. then he made me one it had a dog on it. . . i was so embarressed but good ol paige wore hers around. . . . me not so much. so spring break is over sad. but im ready to go back to school. ive had a good break and now im ready to go back. i absolutly love working at mcdonalds. its seriouisly so much fun. i got to do drive through last night. there were so many ppl. :) it was fun. but yeah thats about it i think im going to get off my ass and get ready casue all american rejects are at walmart. ,. . . its love i know.
kalie

i ran away today ran from the noise ran from the pain.
i ran away today in search of you in my life. and then i stopped to tie my shoe and he walked up and looked me in the eyes and then i forgot what i was looking for.
Becca and i cleaned ALL morning after i mader her BinB. arnt i the best friend EVER! lol heck yes i am. theres no doubt about that. seriously i made pancakes, cut bananas and HOMEMADE hashbrowns. yeah thats right. it was amazing. lol so then hmm we cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.my mom lost her walet so shes pretty upset over that. ijm pretty happy though the sun is out wiat i should be out getting that sun!! ok im out i have to work tonight . . fun fun i know. but i love working at mcdonalds. . . best job ever!
kalie

Well yesturday i made a plan. a plan that i will stick too. at the end of this summer i will be moving in with my dad. itll be hard but im up for the challenge. I learned how to manage a web site today. it was so easy. . gosh. lol. i was surprised how well i understood it. and umm what else happend today oh yeah i get the astro casue the breaks are all fixed. Its funny to think that one year ago today i was drunk off my but right now with Debbie and Deila.!!! ( cuzies ) !!!
i think im going to work at camp agein this summer. surprise surprise chris i know, you were right. lol no matter waht i say i always end up back there. i love ministry. its amazing. one week last year the 1st camp week of the summer, i witnessed every single camper in JR high camp either come to Christ or rededicate thier lives to him. i was amzing and then they all wanted to worship till 12am truly God was there. it was such a blessing to be able to witness it. im so excited. ive seen so many of my campers since then and they have all aske dif i was going to be there, OF COURSE! lol. but im sad casue now not only will even and dan not be there but niether will kyle. . :( sad. they made me laugh so hard. dearianna and the rock wall ill NEVER forget that, and the one time that i had to make a cabin sit out cause they werent getting along. that was cool.me and angelina. lol and then the time my cabin snuk out to make smores. . . I LOVE CAMP and i cant imagin my summer with out it. OH and you cant forget Robby. NEVER going to forget the red head who played with grass. NO IM THE ARCH BISHOP OF CANTENBURY!!!! lol and then one more , , , , IM MISTY WING LOOK I HAVE WINGS!! lol. im sittine here laughing thisnking about all the fun times ive had at camp. ok time to go hang with Becca.
kalie


.

well i saw you with your hands above your head spinning around trying not to look down but you did and you fell hard on the ground. and you stumbled around for a good 10 minutes and i said i never seen anyone look so dumb before and you laughed and said that i still know how to turn you on though. . . .

[chorus]
and your the only one who
drags me kicken' and screamn' through fast dreams
and your the only one who
knows excatly what i mean

and i probably forgot to tell you this like that time i forgot to tell you about the scar remember how uncomfortible that made you feel. see your not what i expected but your the only one who knows how to handle me and your such a great kisser and i know that you agree.

[chorus]

i hope you can forgive me for that time when i put my hand between your legs and said that it was small casue its relaly not at all. i guess theres just part of me likes to bring you down just to keep you around cause the day that you relize how amazing you are your going to leave me.

[chorus]
and your the only one who
holds my hair back when im drunk and get sick
and your the only one who know exactly what i mean
and you the only who drives me kicken' and screamn' through fast dreams
and you are the only one who know exactly what i mean
exactly what i mean

well i saw you with your hand above your head spinning round trying not to look down but did and fell hard on the ground.

Maria Meena

so today was good went on a two hour walk with becca and had a lot of fun. we walked to the movie place to return an awsome movie. . . "I Stole the Castle." that movie made me want to fall in love. and be loved. I think it was a good way to look at my relationship with christ. there is a man so passionate about loving me and wanting hte best for me and somtimes i just ont see him. like the girl in the movie. Man i wanted her to fall in love with that guy. so badly. but she didnt love him. he loved her. so much. but she never loved him back. Never no matter how much he begged her. it was sad. but it inspired me. to be in love. and ill be like that girl. wait for my true love. i guess thats the way i already am though. i wont date someone that i dont see potiental for loving. they have to belive in the same thing i do and haver the same goals as I do. lol. Im so picky when it comes to who i date. for example ive only had 2 boyfriends. 2. huge number huh. the thing is i could have had so many boyfriends by now but i havnet casue i dont want to get hurt so i pick them a part and then i move on caue i get A. bord with them or B. theres just too many things wrong with them. lol thats terrible. why am i talking about this? oh man talk about trailing off. oh yeah becca has the best songs on her i pod. lol i stole it. and now im off to go buy the fall out boy CD.
kalie

SO today i learned that if i dont get an MRI done and do more work on my neck i could be looking at potential surgery becasue of this stupid accident. I HATE IT. ugg why did that have to happen? oh yeah casue i am a dumbass thats why. no so me and my mom got into it last night . . . agein. and she informed me that when i turn 18 i am no longer going to live in my house. . . thats cool. shes honestly such bitch. no not really, just most of the time. we went to the sound yesturday and it was really fun except i didnt wear the right shoes and so i couldnt really walk the trails at all. so yeah and becca and i got some really good photos. in B&W. they are awsome.
i dont know whats relly going on anymore i know that my dad and i are going to go car shopping this week and stuff and im really excited about that becasue this time i actually get to pick one out myself. . . instead of him driving up with it and being like heres a stick go learn how to drive it. lol honestly that was the coolest present i ever got. too bad i crashed it. . .. .
so my day today is filled with NOTHING. and a whole lot of it. im going to go running possibly. my cat just climbed a tree and i had to go get her. i had to climb the tree. i dont climb trees. at all. ever. like i think i climed maybe one tree in my life. sad but true. so im going to go now.

kalie

its strange how fate can play a part in the story of your heart. . . . and its funny how one moment could change your life. One moment completely changed my life. so many moments in my life have changed who i am. But its ok. it makes me a stronger person. more alive. i couldnt change it if i wanted to.
so i told him that im starting to like him agien. its not like i wanted it to happen it just did. but i relized somthing. theres this kid out there who will love me more than i ever know. who will treat me good, and love me no matter what. so i relized this kid is just a person. hes not even that great of a person. i think that im just caught up in the past too much. there are a ton of guys that i could date. so why so i waste my time with this kid that doesnt even care about me? good question huh? well i answered it for myself. . i dont. i can move on and go to others if i need to feel validated by being in a realtionship. BUT the thing is i dont feel that need. i like being singell. and no one can take that away from me. when the time comes i know that i will be a great girlfriend. so i need not concern myself with petty matters like that. I work at mcdonalds for crying out loud. lol. never thought id work there. EVER. it comical really almost antagonizing. SO to sum this short entry up. kid if your reading this i changed my mind. . causeinm aloud to do that. sont think i obseess over you cause i really dont, to the kid thats never stopped caring about me i honestly love you and thats real and for you that are just nosie. . fuck off. . no jk i love you more than youll ever know.

kalie

My life at the moment is crazy. Absolutly intense. I look back to see where i was a year ago and were i am today. WOW i thought. Last year was nothing like this. Ive grown up so much. I ve let go so so many things that i thought that i never would have. ive lied, cheated, loved, cried, learned, CRASHED .. . and yet still i would change nothing about it. I smile when i think of it. all of it. Life has been so amazing, people that i know, loved, care about, yell at, hate at times they are truly amazing. When i think about all that has happend this year, and all that hasnt yet, a smirk comes to my face and i cant help it.
One of the biggest things to happen this year was becoming friends with Dara and PAige. Hands down the two most amazing people i know. We started our friendship with me getting dumped. wow. great time to start a friendship thatll last for ever. (seriously dara and paige are my childs god mothers). WE ended up in a hotle room. . and them in the shower. they make me laugh so hard. they are amazing.
this year i also meet a girl named Rebecca. shes been great too. shes now living with me. shes got the coolest room in the whole effing house. shes been so great to have around and i love her to death.
Im blessed truly and utterly blessed. theres nothing in this world that could convince me otherwise. i dont need anyone to tell me that. i dont need anything. all i need is my father. he will be my guiding light. what more could i ask for at 17?
kalie

Today was a great day for me and becca! we got DEBT cards. yay go us. one more step to being poopy adults. well i have one thing to say im so glad that her and i arnt 18 yet. we still have tome to cause a major accident or mis-hap of some kind and not be finacially responsible for it. thats right. so anyway today was uneventful although i did enjoy 3rd period. it was fun i got to talk to cliff. i made the ddesision for him that he wasnt gay. it was great. and then when i got home steve was over and were ggetting a new stove. woopie. no more uckie gross one!!!! so thats my day today. im pretty much happy and malocolly,

Today was a great day for me and becca! we got DEBT cards. yay go us. one more step to being poopy adults. well i have one thing to say im so glad that her and i arnt 18 yet. we still have tome to cause a mojor accident or mis hap of somkind adn not be finacially responsible for it.

Theres this amazing song on right ow in the radio that is just my FREAKING song at the moment its by trent wilton. Its amazing like its the the song that sums up my life right now. theres this thing that keeps coming in my head and i dont know why. i was over this guy like way over him. and i was doing great just bneing his friend. but now i dont want ot just be his friend. i love this kid. like i care about him and just wana be there for him. i really dont understand why. God has a plan for me though. i have to remember that. maybe hes showing me how to let go of somthing that i want so bad. ive never felt like this before. im miserable. nothing makes me happy. i need to lean on God and allow him to work in my life. thats the only thing i know that is going to get me through this.
and on other terms. i got pulled over the other day. yeah. no ticket and you wana know why? i didnt use my effing blinker. thats so gay. errr. lol